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Divorce And Grief Counseling Kansas City; Top Therapist Explains The Phases Of Divorce Related Grief

By Sharon Long


Divorce leaves one grieving of ambiguous loss. This brings about an intense feeling of grief, similar to what one feels after the death of a loved one. Regardless of the turn of events that lead to the end of your marriage, the parties involved are bound to experience loss in a very exceptional way. You can expect to grieve during divorce and even after your marriage is dissolved. If you require divorce and grief counseling Kansas City has a reliable number of proficient counselors to offer.

Most people will first get into the denial phase. This involves literally being in shock and not believing that your marriage has ended. Even those that see divorce coming will in most cases still go through the denial stage. The length of this phase may even so depend on whether you saw your marriage coming to an end or not.

After denial comes the pain and fear stage. It is common for couples to feel hurt in more than a few distinct ways. For instance, you may feel hurt and afraid of the changes that are bound to take place monetarily and emotionally. Unfortunately, not even counseling or time can promise you that all the pain will eventually go away. On the bright side, it is the pain that motivates you to do something to get out of your present predicaments.

The next stage is anger. This may involve thinking about how you exchanged your vows and how they do not mean anything at the moment. You may also get angry over the numerous times your spouse cheated or frustrated you emotionally. Those with kids may also get furious about what is happening and how it will affect the innocent children.

With all that is happening, you may feel the urge to bargain with your spouse. This could involve giving unrealistic promises and possibly promising to change your nasty behaviors. Sometimes, the bargaining phase can help to stop divorce, though this is not always guaranteed. In case it does not, you still have reason to keep your chin up and hope for a better tomorrow.

The guilt phase then kicks in and this where you think about all the things you would have done different. In some cases, the turn of events can be blamed on both spouses. You should therefore take it easy on yourself to get rid of that feeling of carrying around a hundred pounds wrapped around your ankles. Any therapist will tell you for free that you need to get over the guilty feeling for you to move on.

Unfortunately the depression stage is almost inevitable. You are likely to have a void and filling it will not be a simple thing to do. This is more so the case if you were married for years and had a profound love for your spouse. It is during this phase that most people decide to seek counseling.

Life goes on after divorce and the acceptance phase will kick in at some point. This is when your body develops a coping mechanism that helps to get rid of all the mental and physical pain. Acceptance allows you to put the past in the past and lead a more meaningful life today.




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