Hey, I've just got a quick note for you today on a subject that a lot of guys are curious about: How to talk to women. There's a lot of cool information I teach you, from routines to openers, conversation bridges, all kinds of great stuff to inject into your interactions with women. But in almost every single one-on-one coaching (and in hundreds of emails I get every day), one concern stands out more than any other.
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
When you feel like a conversation is really hard to get into or it just doesn't feel easy, most of the time that is due to a lack of RAPPORT with the person that you are speaking to. When you feel lots of rapport, even talking about the weather can be easy and kind of fun. So, this is something that you have to get right. You have to be able to make a woman feel rapport when she is with you and talking to you.
Showing her that you have some shared interests is one of the BEST ways to get her feeling like she wants to exchange phone numbers or spend time with you later. If she feels that you and her have some things in common, that becomes something that you can talk about that leads to her wanting to spend time with you. So, find some of those common interests as quickly as you can.Angelica was a gorgeous 24 year old graduate student who had asked me this question: "Why don't men know how to talk to women?"
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
A conversational bridge is a way of bringing up a topic that you want to steer the conversation towards. Let's say you know you want to talk about your passions and interests with a woman, and you've thought of a great way to bring it up and talk about it. And, let's say your passion is photography.You have a couple ways you could bring it up in conversation, like: "You know, I was just thinking as I'm looking at you that you would make a fantastic subject for photography. Have you ever thought about doing a sitting?" You could also bring it up without focusing on her by saying:
If you want to learn how to talk to women then you should pay very close attention to the conversation I just had with Angelica. She gave us all real insight into what women are looking for when men walk up to them. But there's also a lot she left out and I'm going to fill in some of that gap. Most attractive women are attention seekers.
They seek validation, some seek to have their egos strokes, and some of them actually want to genuinely someone that they feel they can connect with. It's far easier than you think, but first you have to unlearn what you have learned (I think I heard that in some movie somewhere).
The amount of pressure that you put on yourself when you feel like you have to be really smooth is just going to make the task of starting a conversation seem more difficult than it has to be. All you really have to do is focus on talking to her and engaging her in such a way that the conversation continues. Way too often, guys will put unnecessary pressure on themselves because they think that they have to be smooth when all you really have to do is be natural.
If you walked up to a little kid and started talking to them would you be thinking any of these things? What about walking up to a friend? What about walking up to a 70 year old women? In your mind you view these things a harmless. You view them as having equal or less social value than you do, so it's far easier to approach them and start a conversation. Yet, if you see a very good-looking woman, your tongue gets tied up and your mind begins playing tricks on you.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
A simple "hi" or "what's up?" can do wonders. Conversation is a learned skill. Just like walking, writing, or riding a bike. This is why any man can learn how to talk to women, anywhere, anytime, and virtually any place. I picked up my last girlfriend at a gas station. The one before her I met on an online dating website. And the one before her I met on the side walk while walking my older sister's dog. All it took was breaking the ice, acting natural, and not trying too hard:
[How To Talk To Women]
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
When you feel like a conversation is really hard to get into or it just doesn't feel easy, most of the time that is due to a lack of RAPPORT with the person that you are speaking to. When you feel lots of rapport, even talking about the weather can be easy and kind of fun. So, this is something that you have to get right. You have to be able to make a woman feel rapport when she is with you and talking to you.
Showing her that you have some shared interests is one of the BEST ways to get her feeling like she wants to exchange phone numbers or spend time with you later. If she feels that you and her have some things in common, that becomes something that you can talk about that leads to her wanting to spend time with you. So, find some of those common interests as quickly as you can.Angelica was a gorgeous 24 year old graduate student who had asked me this question: "Why don't men know how to talk to women?"
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
A conversational bridge is a way of bringing up a topic that you want to steer the conversation towards. Let's say you know you want to talk about your passions and interests with a woman, and you've thought of a great way to bring it up and talk about it. And, let's say your passion is photography.You have a couple ways you could bring it up in conversation, like: "You know, I was just thinking as I'm looking at you that you would make a fantastic subject for photography. Have you ever thought about doing a sitting?" You could also bring it up without focusing on her by saying:
If you want to learn how to talk to women then you should pay very close attention to the conversation I just had with Angelica. She gave us all real insight into what women are looking for when men walk up to them. But there's also a lot she left out and I'm going to fill in some of that gap. Most attractive women are attention seekers.
They seek validation, some seek to have their egos strokes, and some of them actually want to genuinely someone that they feel they can connect with. It's far easier than you think, but first you have to unlearn what you have learned (I think I heard that in some movie somewhere).
The amount of pressure that you put on yourself when you feel like you have to be really smooth is just going to make the task of starting a conversation seem more difficult than it has to be. All you really have to do is focus on talking to her and engaging her in such a way that the conversation continues. Way too often, guys will put unnecessary pressure on themselves because they think that they have to be smooth when all you really have to do is be natural.
If you walked up to a little kid and started talking to them would you be thinking any of these things? What about walking up to a friend? What about walking up to a 70 year old women? In your mind you view these things a harmless. You view them as having equal or less social value than you do, so it's far easier to approach them and start a conversation. Yet, if you see a very good-looking woman, your tongue gets tied up and your mind begins playing tricks on you.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
A simple "hi" or "what's up?" can do wonders. Conversation is a learned skill. Just like walking, writing, or riding a bike. This is why any man can learn how to talk to women, anywhere, anytime, and virtually any place. I picked up my last girlfriend at a gas station. The one before her I met on an online dating website. And the one before her I met on the side walk while walking my older sister's dog. All it took was breaking the ice, acting natural, and not trying too hard:
About the Author:
Read more about How To Talk To Women , and also watch out on How To Talk To Girls for your needs.
0 comments:
Post a Comment