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What You Should Know About Couples Conflict Solution

By Virginia Turner


Conflict is a common occurrence in relationships. Many married couples experience disagreements because they have different backgrounds, expectations and backgrounds. They may argue, bicker or disagree regularly due to certain issues. Some conflicts can affect a relationship. Married people should therefore learn how to solve them. Developing the skill of couples conflict solution is a good strategy for protecting and preserving a relationship.

At times, conflict begins with the possibility of making major changes. Your spouse can respond in a hostile manner after you have stated your case. This can include yelling, talking over you or tuning out completely. During the initial phases of resolving conflicts, the process used is more important than the words used. You can disagree in a healthy way by developing good listening skills.

It is important to let your partner share his or her concerns, frustrations or worries. Provide your spouse with the opportunity to share his or her feelings in a safe manner, without the fear of being ridiculed with cutting remarks. This way, your spouse will be more open and willing to hear what you have to say.

It is also important to talk about your feelings without blaming your spouse. If you make statements, which assault the character of your spouse directly, they can damage your relationship. For example, if your partner is jealous, avoid saying that he or she is irrational. The right way to talk about this issue is telling your partner that you feel irritated whenever he or she states that you are flirting with another person during an innocent conversation. Although this strategy is direct, it will not impugn on the character of your spouse.

When addressing an issue, avoid making generalizations about your spouse. Avoid saying that your partner always does or never does something. Such words can make him or her defensive. This may lead him or her to start coming up with examples of when he or she was attentive or helpful. Your goal should be to prompt a discussion about how your spouse may be more attentive or helpful.

Couples can also have constructive discussions if they deal with one problem at a time. When individuals are not happy, it is common for them to bring up a number of topics into one discussion. This is a poor strategy of solving personal problems. When a number of complaints are raised at the same time, getting any one of them solved fully is unlikely.

If your spouse criticizes you, you should not object to the complaints he or she makes. You cannot solve problems if you are defensive. It is better to listen to your spouse and consider what he or she is saying.

Another effective way to handle conflict in a relationship is consulting with a counselor. Couples can discuss their problems with the professional. Counseling can assist couples to express their emotions and desires in a safe and respectful environment. By undergoing counseling, married people can also deal with the hurtful feelings caused by unfaithfulness, bereavement or emotional neglect. Counselors work with their clients to help them build more meaning and intimate relationships.




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