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Teen Age Girl's Self-Esteem - What Causes Its Nosedive?

By John W. Barker


Does your self esteem wavor when you see apparently flawless females? Women and girls often get the brunt of air brushed media images. Does just looking at those perfect models make you want to sink even further into the proverbial bed?Or perhaps you avoid any media comparison, and yet still experience low self esteem from the messages you picked up in the family environment. Did your parents want a girl? did they value you? We're you an awkward teenager? Are you a stressed out mum that puts herself and her needs last? Are you a manager that let's her colleagues dump their extra workload on to her?
[Girls Self Esteem]


Ask your teen questions instead of giving orders or suggestions. Your teen is going through some major changes. Some of these changes are physical and some are emotional. When you ask someone to do something you are showing respect for them as a person.Try to find ways to treat teens as adults. Teens are not mature adults, but they are no longer little children either. One of the biggest complaints that young ladies have is their parents treat them as children. Maybe you can extend their curfew a bit or add other privileges. If you are interested in building self esteem in teenage girls, let them know that they are becoming young women.Maybe your young lady has problems with acne or her weight. Personal appearance is extremely important at this age. Let her know that you are there to help in any way. Schedule a doctor appointment, as sometimes this can help. In any manner, your teen needs to know that she can call on you for anything at anytime.Set a good example. Kids learn so much from watching their parents. If you think your teen has a problem with self esteem, she may have learned it from you. Think about how you conduct yourself around others. If you think that you have a low opinion of the person in your mirror, then maybe you should work on that first before helping your teen.

Health risks are coupled with most girls' dip in their self-esteem because of dangerous eating habits, despair, as well as unwanted pregnancy.Girls who are 10 or 12 are occasionally confronted with various "teen" issues like dating or sex, at an alarmingly earlier age. Almost 73 percent of the 8 to 12-year old girls dress more like thriving teens and even talk much like teens.When or why do girls' self-esteem dip?When the pre-teen years start, girls experience a total shift in their focus; and their bodies turn into some sort of all consuming passion-machine, which is much like a meter of self-worth.Self-esteem turns very closely tied to many physical attributes that most girls feel they're unable to gauge in respect of their society standards.Between 5th or 9th grade, most gifted girls perceive that smarts are not really sexy, and keep hiding their accomplishments.

And most teen girls are faced with increasing number of "stressors" in their lives, particularly in their interpersonal relationships. Unfortunately, they react more intensely than typical boys, which throw them towards depressions.If you are like every parent out there, you constantly worry about your children every day. When they are babies, you worry they are going to fall and get hurt. When they start school, are they going fit in, are they going to make friends, are they going to like school? They get to the age of 9 or 10 now you worry if they are fitting at school.

Be spiritually aware by developing your connection to what you believe in. Take time to relax in nature and re-charge your batteries. Nurture your soul with beauty, peace and love.Putting your needs first is not an act of selfishness, but rather healthy self love and respect. When a woman puts her needs first, she commands respect and appreciation. If you have old patterns of giving in, thinking about the needs of others, denying yourself any fun and pleasure - did those feelings make you feel good? Did you feel resentful and unappreciated?When you give to yourself, you do only feed your spirit, but you fill the reservoirs of your love and in doing so you can love others too.

It has been my awareness of the importance of making it a point to develop self-esteem and keep a positive self-image that has spared my daughter all types of emotional drama that I see some of her peers going through. In fact my daughter is often mentoring her friends on getting through their challenges on self-esteem issues and on more than one occasion has told me how grateful she is for the information that I share with her.We live in a community that has recognized that there is a problem with competition, materialism, and perfectionism. All three of these issues are directly related to an issue with low self-esteem and trying to hide feelings of insecurity. Often trying to find security, love and self-esteem creates that type of messy experience in not only teen-aged girls, but also throughout the lives of grown women.

So, here are some ideas for parents who are looking for ways to raise their daughter's self-esteem and confidence,Firstly, encourage your daughter to have a well-defined identity. This means helping her define what she likes, what she values and what she believes in. Good questions to ask her are: "Tell me about that", "Why did you make that decision?" and "Why does it make you feel like that?"Spend lots of time giving her sincere and genuine feedback about her strengths and abilities. For example, "I think you are good at because...", and "I like the way you..."

They make sure your children know how to count, read and write. Look around you, may be your friends, people at work, who appear to be more successful in their life. Successful can be at work or their marriage. Is it Joe, in the corner who does not talk to anyone or Mary who can start a conversation with anyone at anytime. Is Brandi at work who always eats alone or Frank who is always helping and praising others? The answer is always the more outgoing person who is friendly and nice to everyone.

We are able to release this cellular memory and I'm so grateful to know how to do this for myself and to be able to teach my clients how to do the same. Having weaknesses and making mistakes is a part of the human experience. Weakness is just a challenge for you to evolve and grow stronger through.What you do is not the same as who you are. It's time to stop beating ourselves up and just see life as a process of unfolding. I'm like a beautiful garden, growing my various flowers of gifts and talents. This is just a new way for many to start to view the process of growth and development instead of judging self and others by some self-defeating paradigm. This paradigm's time has come to be evolved into extinction. "Survival of the fittest and lack" from a competitive, judging, lack conscious way, is outdated and is being replaced by "survival by adaptability" and abundance.Nurturing your Self and getting clear about a strong, powerful self-image and self-esteem, can give you the peace of mind, and ultimately health, happy relationships and business success that is at the heart of a life well lived. What do you think?




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